Leading Me Where I'll Follow
by xxshebeexx
Summary: There's something about Poe that makes Finn feel just ... right. He is no poet, he has no way with words, can't elaborate on that one word if he tried. He couldn't pinpoint when exactly it started to feel that way. But he'll follow Poe's lead on life, on being himself, and in love.


There's something about Poe that makes Finn feel just ... right. He is no poet, he has no way with words, can't elaborate on that one word if he tried.

He couldn't pinpoint when exactly it started to feel that way. Was it after Takodana, when he saw Poe again, alive and striding across the ferrocrete landing strip, eyes wide open in surpise, arms out to grasp Finn into a desperate and relieved hug, biting his lip as he took in the ex-stormtrooper in his jacket?

Or was it in the TIE fighter, when Poe expertly dodged the onslaught from the star destroyer's turbolaser, finding the time to give Finn the very first thing he'd ever owned, his name? Or was it before that even, when Finn first pulled off his helmet and looked into Poe's eyes, wild and determined, his own heart hammering against his chest as he left everything he'd ever known behind and put his life in the hands of the Resistance's best pilot?

Or maybe it doesn't even matter when he started feeling that way. What matters now is that Poe is still here. After Finn was brought to the med centre on D'Qar, a razor's edge from death, it was Poe that sat at his bedside everyday. The nurses said it to Finn a day or two after he woke; they teased him about it, although Finn didn't quite understand why. Poe was his friend and Finn was sick. He had little experience with friendships, but Rey and Poe were showing him what friendship meant. And he was so grateful to Poe. Waking up with a friend by your side, a hand to hold and smile to buoy your spirits is more than Finn had during his lifetime and he didn't even know how much he needed it until he had it.

Six weeks in the med centre passed torturously slowly, to Finn's chagrin. But the pain faded, he grew stronger in his body and in his spirit. He blamed himself at first, that it was his fault, that he should have done more, that he hadn't saved Han, he hadn't saved Rey, he was weak, he wasn't enough - and every time he voiced those thoughts, bitterly and mercilessly, Poe was there to take his hand, to tell him _no, Finn, it's not your fault_. He'd take Finn into his arms and it felt ... right. Poe's soft words soothed his battered spirit, his warm arms soothed his lonely heart.

And now Finn is, for all intents and purposes, better. Discharged from the med centre with a certificate to prove it, and no idea where to go next. General Organa suggested he take a few days at the start to explore the base, to get to know the staff and figure out what he'd like to do. _There's no pressure_ , Finn, she'd smiled at him warmly, _you'll find your home_.

Poe laughs when he goes to collect Finn from the med centre, telling him he looks like a lost bantha pup or like a Gungan at an Ewok birthday party. Finn rolls his eyes at the pilot, swatting his arm with half-hearted annoyance. Truth is, Finn could never be annoyed at Poe, and he thinks Poe might know that.

 _You can come stay with me, I've already told you that_ , Poe reminds him and yes, he has told Finn that many times and now the time has come, Finn feels so grateful once again. He does feel lost and Poe's like an anchor, grounding him, showing him what's real, putting the pieces back together.

Finding new pieces that Finn never realised until now that he was missing either. There's the fun things - finding Finn a semblance of a new wardrobe to go with Poe's old patched up leather jacket, meeting Poe's fellow pilots and learning what camaraderie is, discovering what Corellian rum is and becoming the laughing stock of the Resistance base the first time he tried it. Poe still wipes tears of laughter from his eyes when someone brings that up.

Then there's the things that speak to Finn's heart - learning that being a person with a name is so much more than being a serial number, the pride that shines in Poe's eyes when he intoduces his squad, the dedication that General Organa shows every single day that he sees her, straight backed and strong despite what she has suffered.

Sometimes it's overwhelming. At night, when Poe's asleep in the bunk across the room, Finn's heart beats hard against his ribs, tears gather in his eyes and he wonders how he's survived until now. A stormtrooper doesn't have a life. This is life - friends and family, home. He misses Rey and worries for her, but he's accepting that. Part of having friends and family is worry. Poe says that it's okay to feel that way and Finn believes him. He doesn't know what he's done to deserve where he is now. Home.

One morning, Finn awakens to find Poe sitting at the end of his bed. His dark curls are sleep ruffled and unkempt, stubble a little too long on his cheeks, pyjama pants ending just above his bare ankles. His brow is creased with concern and he says, _I know you lie awake at night, Finn, and I know you have nightmares. That's okay. If you ever need me, I'm here for you, buddy. You know that_. And Finn believes him.

But he shrugs it off with a laugh anyway, slides out of bed and goes to clap the older man on the shoulder. Poe catches his hand in his, and says it again, _I'm always here for you_.

Finn doesn't know what to say. He wants to tell Poe that he knows that. He wants to tell him that Poe's soft breathing across the room at night is what calms his frantic mind enough to sleep. He wants to tell Poe that he makes life better for him with every word and every touch, and that he wants nothing more in the galaxy than to live this life forever, here with Poe.

But he doesn't know how to say any of that and simply turns his palm upwards to lace his fingers with Poe's, his thumb rubbing the side of Poe's hand. And Poe just looks at their laced hands, then looks up at Finn through his sleep tousled curls and that look makes Finn's spine tingle.

It takes Finn a while to figure out what he wants to do on D'Qar. There's no pressure from Poe, no pressure from General Organa. It's like everyone goes out of their way to be nice to him and it takes a long time for Finn to adjust to that.

He tries his hand at flying in a simulator and Poe laughs about that incident nearly as much as the first time they had the rum. It doesn't take long for Finn to figure out that mechanics isn't for him either, which Rey heartily agrees with when he tells her about it in a holocomm call. He even tries doing some of the civilian jobs, but even Poe's pilots can't contain their laughter when they see him in the mess serving dinner with an apron on.

In the end, it's Poe's suggestion that makes the most sense. Of course it does, Poe just _gets_ him. _Be a soldier, Finn. You were trained to be one, but now you can be one on the_ right _side_. And he's right.

Training takes up most of his days and some of his nights. He has a good squad, a great commanding officer. They do a lot of ground runs, infiltrations, intelligence gathering. Poe often flies cover for their missions, does extractions. Bit by bit, they're chipping away at the First Order in their different ways. And Finn feels so proud to be part of that.

He asks Poe one day when they're on a mission. It's night time on Nar Shaddaa and the soldier and the pilot are sitting in an empty storage container, perched on the roof of a low sitting building. They're watching the dark chasm beneath them, waiting for the return of one of Finn's team with the datachip with the intel on it. _Poe, is it okay for me to be happy?_

Poe's eyes crinkle at the sides when he laughs and they crinkle now. Finn can see it in the light from the neon advertisement on the adjacent building. _Of course it is, buddy!_ And Finn smiles too. This time he knows what he wants to say and he says it. That he's happy he's found friends in Poe, in Rey, in the Resistance. That he feels he's making a difference. That he feels he's home. And that it's mainly because of Poe.

Poe looks away at that, then back at Finn and Finn could nearly swear that he's blinking away a tear. But Poe smiles again and Finn is sure that he's imagining it. _I'm just trying to show you what life is like when you take off that white helmet, that's all._ In his heart, Finn knows it's more. He hopes it's more. Then they spot the speeder below them and it's all a frantic rush to grab the freighter, grab the speeder and its rider and get the hell off Nar Shaddaa. Just another day in the office.

It takes Finn a long time to identify what that hoping for more actually is. He never says anything, and neither does Poe.

It's late at night after a long mission and they're both sitting on Finn's bunk, tired but elated. It went well, they got the locations of three destroyers in build. That'll save the lives of millions once the Resistance blow them up before they're finished. Finn can feel his face is flushed with excitement and that's mirrored on Poe's cheeks too.

It's Poe that kisses him first, in the end. Finn doesn't know why he's doing it now, why tonight, but he doesn't care. One minute, they're recounting a close call on the way out of the data centre on Bastion, laughing, then next Poe's leaned over and pressed his lips to Finn's, softly but full of that determination that is just so Poe.

Finn's never kissed anyone before and he's not sure if he's even doing it right, but it doesn't matter in that moment. It's so right, Poe's lips on his. His hands reach over to Poe's waist to pull him closer and he feels the pilot's arms wrap around his shoulders to do the same. It's hot and it's desperate and it's full of want. Finn's never wanted anything as much as he wants Poe at the moment and he knows he never will want anything more in his life. Because this is what he's been waiting for, this moment, without even realising it.

When they pull apart, they're both breathless and warm. Poe's arms stay wrapped tightly around him and he's panting Finn's name against his lips, _oh God, Finn, Finn_ \- so Finn follows his lead and pulls him back in for another kiss.

Finn wakes first in the morning, in his bunk, naked. Poe's pressed tightly to his side, leg thrown over Finn's own. His hand is lying on Finn's bare chest, his cheek is pressed to Finn's shoulder. Finn reaches out slowly with his right hand to brush Poe's hair from his eyes and the pilot stirs. He smiles broadly when he open his eyes and Finn leans down to kiss him again. He can feel Poe's want pressed against his left thigh and smiles too. They make love again, and in his head, Finn feels a bit silly for calling it that and he doesn't think he'd say it to Poe, but that's what it is. That burning feeling, the want, the love that Finn holds in his heart for the Resistance pilot cannot be described as anything else.

And that's how life is now, Finn and Poe and the Resistance, an endless fight, an endless game, an endless love. _See, when you show a stormtrooper the right way, he'll follow_ , Poe says one day, and he's right. He's always right.

It doesn't even matter when it started feeling that way, all that matters now is that it is this way and it will always be this way.


End file.
